Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
