The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
