she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
