What a fucking waste of an outfit
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Success! We fucked roommates!
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