He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
