So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
