and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
