Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
