What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hippo gnu deer
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
