we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Found your dick twin last night
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
tell me about the fingering
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
