Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
do herpes really smell.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
