I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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