4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
