Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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