Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
