Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
