was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
