i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
