i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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