We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
