I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
