I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
