If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
