I don't remember. Are we still dating?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
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