I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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