He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
