im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Its about making memories worth repressing
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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