remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
