i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
