I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
