It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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