I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
