dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I intend to get homeless drunk
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
