how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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