I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
