now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
