i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I want to fling myself into the sun
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize