my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
