We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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