So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
