you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Randomize
