no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
