So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
