Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
