My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
