the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
