Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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