he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
