you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
