what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
