I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
